Hide your crazy - Oct. 15

There comes a day where you make a choice to either help out humanity, or watch it as it crumbles. Today I am going to do my part. I've put together some of my favorite “Life Hacks” to help out with… hacking life… or whatever.

•Can’t find that pesky needle in that jumbo hay stack? I've got a match that says otherwise. Grab some marshmallows because that needle is about to find itself.

• There - a place or idea

   Their - shows possession

   They’re - contraction for “they are”

   To - not sure how to describe this but it's not rocket science

   Too - means “excess of” or “also”

   Two - a number..2

   Your - shows possession

   You’re - contraction for “you are”

   Lose - opposite of win

   Loose - opposite of tight

   Access - having “rights to”

   Excess - a lot of

   Weather - the condition outside

   Whether - a decision “whether or not”

   Then - used for time

   Than - used for comparison

   Effect - noun

   Affect - verb

•Set your favorite songs as custom ringtones for people you don't like. This way, when they call, you can enjoy good music while ignoring them.

• If you're going to the zoo, do a little research and wear the same colors as the employees. Animals will think it's lunch time and will come right up to you.

• Chew gum while cutting an onion. Don't cry for me, Argentina.

• Telemarketers bugging you? Don't say anything, just press 9 on your phone. This puts you on a “don't call” list. Or you can answer, lay down your phone, take a shower, vacuum and practice those Whitney Houston “high notes.” To each their own.

• Put your phone on airplane mode while you play your games. No ads, baby!

• If there is an annoying person behind you in the check-out line, press all four corners of the credit card machine. It will reset and now they will be annoyed.

• If you ever find yourself with duct tape over your mouth, lick it until it falls off. Then do the same with duct tape on your wrists. May I also suggest not getting kidnapped? Maybe a concealed hand gun license?

• Ice cream too frozen to scoop? Place the scooper in the microwave for 30 seconds.

• Save money on expensive Valentines Day gifts by erecting emotional barriers all around you, growing old and dying alone.

• Can't get those cake slices perfect? Use dental floss! Just expand a strand across the cake and press down to the bottom. Another option would be to accept that no one cares about a perfect slice and use a knife.

• Want your house to smell like Jesus just baked cookies in heaven? Put three drops of vanilla on a pan and place it in the oven on 300 degrees. But first, you may want to take three hours to scrub your oven and inspect it for a single crumb of anything… Because then it will smell like the devil just ate a cookie and whispered the word “mayonnaise” in your face. So just light a candle.

 I really hope these help you out. If you have any note-worthy life hacks, do your part and share them with humanity, too!